Home Renovation Junkie Gifts

Man paints himself into corner.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'I found the termites!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

'Hmmmm...lower.'

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"Would you go nuts if I paint EVERYTHING pink!?"