Home Renovation Buff Gifts

"Well, you with your going on about the importance of insulation!"

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

"I know you're new and all, but this is not what we mean by flipping a house."

Plasterer skimming a wall

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'I found the termites!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'I'm counter - intelligence'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

"Would you go nuts if I paint EVERYTHING pink!?"