Home Renovation Enthusiasts Gifts

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

Welcome to the middle class Jer$ey $hore!'

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'I found the termites!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"Would you go nuts if I paint EVERYTHING pink!?"

'Hmmmm...lower.'