Remodeling Kitchen Gifts

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

Come dine with me!

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'It's all homemade.'

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

Cooking

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

Olive Oil

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

A Matryoshka dolls putting an oven in an oven

God bless our home equity line of credit.

'Isn't it great? It gives us four times the storage space as a regular fridge!'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

Ever wonder why we debated what color fridge to buy?

Swiss Army Stove.

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

"Honey, look-those are the tiles I was thinking about for the kitchen."

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

'It's lovely. Have you actually built a flat-pack kitchen before?'