Remodeling Kitchen Pillows

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

Come dine with me!

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

'It's all homemade.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

God bless our home equity line of credit.

Cooking

A Matryoshka dolls putting an oven in an oven

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

Olive Oil

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

Swiss Army Stove.

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

"Honey, look-those are the tiles I was thinking about for the kitchen."

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

'It's lovely. Have you actually built a flat-pack kitchen before?'

'We could either give you a $50,000 home improvement loan, or $2,000 to just blow your house up.'