Renovating Kitchen Pillows

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'We need a really big fridge. We have a lot of fridge magnets.'

Come dine with me!

Let's get organized

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

Painting the Ceiling

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

'I found the termites!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"You're welcome."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Too bright."