Kitchen Renovator Pillows

'It's lovely. Have you actually built a flat-pack kitchen before?'

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

"The distressed-style wood flooring we installed in the kitchen seems to have crept into Fred!"

"Your talent's wasted here. You could be painting my kitchen."

"I'd like Daniel Libeskind to take a look at our kitchen."

'Can't you workmen use the canteen for your tea break ?'

Kitchen Made

Painting by the numbers for adults

Painting the Ceiling

'I found the termites!'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

'Dad, this is something I knocked up in the shed.'

A Matryoshka dolls putting an oven in an oven

'How are you doing on your side?'

'Isn't it great? It gives us four times the storage space as a regular fridge!'

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

Swiss Army Stove.