Renovating The Kitchen Pillows

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Come dine with me!

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'I found the termites!'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"You're welcome."

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Too bright."

Non-Drip ?

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."