Renovating Kitchen T-Shirts

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'We need a really big fridge. We have a lot of fridge magnets.'

Come dine with me!

Let's get organized

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

Painting the Ceiling

'I found the termites!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"You're welcome."

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Too bright."