Menu Designer Gifts

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"Page 1 is 'Best-Sellers.' Page 2 is 'Advice, How-To, and Miscellaneous,' and on the back is 'And Bear in Mind.' "

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'You still have breakfast and lunch on your dinner menu.'

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Is the MSG local?"

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

National Coffee Day

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Can you just recommend something? Neither of us can possibly focus long enough to read a menu."

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'If Darwin had been the cook on the Beagle' 'Menu- its Evolution'.

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."