Menu Enthusiast Gifts

"Sorry, but 'plain ol' water' isn't on our menu."

"Mom, Dad, can we stop reading the reviews, I'm hungry!"

Hi. I'm Jonathan. I'll be your judge this afternoon. Legal Menu.

"Is there soup on this menu?"

"Why, yes, we have expanded our menu."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'

'One businessman's lunch and one lackey's lunch.'

"It's our new improved menu... same great food, twice the price."

"If my writing reflected my reading, I'd probably just be writing menus."

"Allow me to point out today's special. Our profit margin's immense on that."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.