Menu Enthusiast Prints

"Sorry, but 'plain ol' water' isn't on our menu."

"Mom, Dad, can we stop reading the reviews, I'm hungry!"

"Is there soup on this menu?"

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'

'One businessman's lunch and one lackey's lunch.'

"It's our new improved menu... same great food, twice the price."

"If my writing reflected my reading, I'd probably just be writing menus."

"Allow me to point out today's special. Our profit margin's immense on that."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Is the MSG local?"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'