Restaurant Closing Gifts

Eat at Home Sign

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'A cheeky red?'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

La Table

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

Fast food. Even faster food

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

Today's special... donuts.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'