Resource Conserver Gifts

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'A cheeky red?'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Fast food. Even faster food

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'Do you have any catsup?'

Scarcity

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"You owe me five bucks."

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'