Rescue Personnel Gifts

"First time paddleboarding?"

And now bring the girls!

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

Woman escapes with cats.

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'Arf! Arf!'

'You brought my slippers?... What kind of rescue dog are you?!'

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

'It's looking good this time: I've been here for six months and the kids haven't lost interest in me as yet...'

They've been inseperable since the avalanche.

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

"Aye, but this is the Cairngorms laddie. That'll be �1.15p."

"Any ideas? I'm terrible with cursive writing."

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

The grim reaper racing a lifeboat to reach a drowning man

St Bernard delivering teddy to avalanche victim

"I was only kidding when I said you have ring around the collar."

Fetching some fuel.

'I wasn't drowning, I was waving!'

Litter.

"Wow! I must be dreaming!"

Coastguard

Search and Rescue

'Ah, 'man's best friend' and it's brought by a dog.'

'I'm working a double-shift today...'

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

"In the old days, we used to rescue real travellers. Now, we tend to rescue so-called adventurers and thrill-seekers..."

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

Lifeboat

"Sorry, boss. . . Google also doesn't know where your missing person is. I have no idea where to look now. . ."