Reptile Specialist Gifts

"Does he bite?"

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

Stylish clothing for snakes.

"That reminds me - it's about time to feed the little fella."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Football Chameleon

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Play it again, Sam.'

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'Iguana know what time it is.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

Crocodile

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Danth battle?

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

Snake Eyes