Reptile Expert Gifts

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Football Chameleon

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'Play it again, Sam.'

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'Iguana know what time it is.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

Crocodile

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

The Monitor is going to sleep.

Danth battle?

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

Snake Eyes

'Aw,hunting season is a cleansing time. A time to forget about my worries...'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Caliologist

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'