Reptile Expert Pillows

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Football Chameleon

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

'Play it again, Sam.'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'Iguana know what time it is.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

Crocodile

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

'Aw,hunting season is a cleansing time. A time to forget about my worries...'

Snake Eyes

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

The Monitor is going to sleep.

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

Caliologist

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Danth battle?

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'