Reptile Enthusiast Pillows

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

'It looks like reptile dysfunction'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'Oh, you guys!'

'Any wriggle room?'

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

Caution. Slow drivers ahead searching for snakes on the road.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'Be careful opening this...it's marked dangerous goods.'

'Lizards think they have it tough! They should slither a mile in our shoes!'

'Hey stranger: Are you a squeezy-type or a bity-type?'

The dangers of bungee jumping.

'Oh, to be 75 again!'

Snake funerals.

Snake liposuction.

Snake leaving bowling alley with bowler and ball.

Dyslexic reptiles - "see you later crocodile" / "In a while alligator".

'He was only ninety three.'

'You're right, I never liked that racked either!'

'I think the temperature's a bit low in the Terrarium!'

Handyman painting in a zoo, He is using a snake as a safety rope.

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

'Really! I hate when they do that and you're this far away from the door.'

The cruelty of lizard bullies.

Chameleon.

A street vendor trying to sell a lady a reptile

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

'You swallowed a giant gum ball!? You know that never leaves your system, right?'

'There's no way I can manage a whole rat, now I have this gastric band.'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'I'm an amphibian on my mother's side and a reptile on my father's side.'

Man with a lizard brain.

"Are we cold blooded enough to run an H.M.O?"

"It's pronounced 'hee-la' monster. The 'g' sounds like an 'h.' "

"It's different when they're yours."