Reptile Lover Pillows

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

"You seem different."

'Don't just sit there! Give me a hand!'

'Don't be a baby, Noah. That story about alligators in sewers is just an urban myth. I mean, look behind you. That's clearly a crocodile.'

'Let's use another form of birth control. I don't like the coil.'

'Oh, nuts! I locked the keys in the car!'

Chameleons teaching each other the colour chart.

'Whats your poison.'

'Lucky for you I just ate. By the way, there's a set of clubs sitting over there, if you're interested.'

'And while we were in Mauritius, Robert became absolutely obsessed with the geckos in our villa.'

'Something's come up that isn't covered in the security guard's handbook.'

'It doesn't matter we're not venomous: Most people stay well clear of us anyway...'

'Uh oh... cramp!'

The Komodo dragon(fig 1),is often mistaken for the Quasimodo dragon(fig 2).

A snake bites his lip - 'I hope I'm not poisonous, I just bit my lip!'

"You can hide, but you can't run."

"Hey, how come our names aren't on the plaque?"

'What I wouldn't give for some good eczema medication!'

'Oh, that's just a harmless Garter snake. They're not deadly.'

Snakes Playing Poker...

'Don't panic. It's not an alligator. It's a smaller, less aggressive cousin...'

'I'll have to use a snake on your drain.'

'We really must do something about that pet door.'

'Venom is your solution to EVERYTHING!'

"I've got butterflies in my stomach..."

"For goodness sake Timmy, stay out of the shade!"

"The scales say 'alien overlord,' but the rolled-up sleeves say 'man of the people.'"

"How appropriate is that—she's a hundred and twenty years his junior."

“Robert went extinct this summer.”

"Hey! Green eyes!"

"The crème bruleé is always good."

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

Roadkill

"I hear you bought a pair of crocs."

Crocodile Tea