Reptile Enthusiast Gifts

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

'It looks like reptile dysfunction'

'Oh, you guys!'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

Caution. Slow drivers ahead searching for snakes on the road.

'Be careful opening this...it's marked dangerous goods.'

'Hey stranger: Are you a squeezy-type or a bity-type?'

Dyslexic reptiles - "see you later crocodile" / "In a while alligator".

'Lizards think they have it tough! They should slither a mile in our shoes!'

'He was only ninety three.'

Snake leaving bowling alley with bowler and ball.

The dangers of bungee jumping.

'Oh, to be 75 again!'

Snake liposuction.

Snake funerals.

"It's different when they're yours."

"It's pronounced 'hee-la' monster. The 'g' sounds like an 'h.' "

"Are we cold blooded enough to run an H.M.O?"

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

"I know you hate these parties. Just do your best to blend in."

Man with a lizard brain.

A street vendor trying to sell a lady a reptile

Bob's unexpected Father's Day gift...

'Honey, does the wild pig that I swallowed whole for lunch make me look fat? No, dear, it's just the lighting.

'Really! I hate when they do that and you're this far away from the door.'

The cruelty of lizard bullies.

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

'C'mon, just eat a mouseful.'

'There's no way I can manage a whole rat, now I have this gastric band.'

I don't think Grandma likes my snake.

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'