Reptile Admirers Gifts

Two parent snakes measuring the growth pattern of their young one across the wall.

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Football Chameleon

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Crocodile

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

'Leo, did you forget to walk the snail?'

The Monitor is going to sleep.

Snake Eyes

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Danth battle?

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."