Reptile Specialist T-Shirts

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

Stylish clothing for snakes.

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Football Chameleon

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'Play it again, Sam.'

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Crocodile

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

Danth battle?

The Monitor is going to sleep.

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

Caliologist

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

'Aw,hunting season is a cleansing time. A time to forget about my worries...'

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

Snake Eyes

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'