Reptile Romantic Gifts

"What's confusing is exactly how we're supposed to have sex."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Football Chameleon

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

Robocop and Juliet.

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'Play it again, Sam.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Turtle Trailer Court

Dog in love

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

Crocodile

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

Danth battle?

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

The Monitor is going to sleep.

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Snake Eyes

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

The Stripper

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."