Reptile Reader Gifts

'nothing to worry about. According to this book of reptiles the snake is non-poisonous.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Football Chameleon

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'Iguana know what time it is.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

Crocodile

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

The Monitor is going to sleep.

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

Danth battle?

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

Snake Eyes

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

Maternity ward.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"You've got a friend in me."

'Ah, beauty in the eye of the beholder!'

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'