Reptile Watcher Gifts

"I'm fascinated by body language."

"We'd cook out more often if it weren't for these damned monitor lizards."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Bitchbark Canoe

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

The Zoo.

Tourists

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Swan Fairy Tales

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Now I really hate poetry."

"Sign my yearbook?"

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Polar Bear ice fishing through igloo.

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

Fly Fishing

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

Bears catching fish

Piranhaclaus

"Mind the whale, dear."

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Duck Hunt

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'