Report Skeptic Gifts

'I'd rather we don't mention this in the annual report.'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

CIA report

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

"The news is so fake, the ads are beginning to look honest."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Why do you hate the media?

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

Classic News.

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

"This just in: you thought joy was within reach, but you were wrong."

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

"The president says it's a weather balloon."

"Climate change is not real. It's fake climate!"

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

Please be seated. A jack booted government thug will be with you shortly.

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

'I'm going to be honest about this -- I'm from the Government, and I'm here to bamboozle you.'

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

No Unknown Unknowns

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

Turnkey Totalitarianism

The following story is based on actual events.

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"