Renting Renegade Pillows

Godfrey Hunting for Lodgings

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

That's supposed to say garage sale!

Tractor Racing

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

House hunting is cruel.

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

'Can I assume from the rent that this place comes with its own butler?'

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

'Deer and Game Crossing'.

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

'But this IS my mobile home!'

"When you pay the rent for your one-room studio, you mustn't think about what you can get for that amount back in Iowa."

The lessor of two evils.

"Are you telling me you won't even ask the computerized navigational system for directions?"

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

'I may not be an expert, but I know an ill-sighted wind turbine when I hear one!'

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

We are on the move. . .

"Well, I liked it until I read the reviews."

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

TV tie-in book signpost.

"They're nice, but not as efficient as my coal-powered chimes."

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'