Relocation Renegade Pillows

We are on the move. . .

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

That's supposed to say garage sale!

A holiday at home

'This is Bob - our secret agent of change.'

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

"Give him his food."

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"I'll never understand wallpaper."

Organized chaos.

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

House hunting is cruel.

'Have you figured out our New Year's resolution?'

'We could either give you a $50,000 home improvement loan, or $2,000 to just blow your house up.'

'Can I assume from the rent that this place comes with its own butler?'

'The carpet's too thick so I cut a bit off the door.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. VI

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

How did people work before computers? They grew food, made clothing and built stuff. Now all that is done outside the country. Not true. What about

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

Exams

DIY store.

'But this IS my mobile home!'

'Just use some extra strength spackle.'

The lessor of two evils.

Sistine Chapel - Extreme Makeover: 'Blue's good but lets loss all the clouds and the drama.'

Godfrey Hunting for Lodgings

"We'll take it from here Gramps." "Yeah, you guys are just so antiquated." "Power 'Tools'"

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'