Renting Cars Gifts

"First of all, there was a bee in the car."

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

House hunting is cruel.

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"It's a new policy, sir. . . you have to be wither under fourteen or over fifty to rent Jerry Lewis movies."

The lessor of two evils.

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

"Wanna rent some videos?"

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

'I always thought Facebook was the perfect roommate...Until the rent came due.'

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

We divided it up and turned it into a rental.

"Sign here, initial here, rassle Zeke for the keys and you're all set."

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

Man in Video Shop, "Seen it, Seen it, Seen it, wouldn't want to"

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

"He's moving out when he's saved up enough for a deposit on a flat."

Drive Time On Air - 'Are there any drivers out there?'

Leonard Cohen calls his landlord

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

Tenants and Landlords - 'Are we nearly there? ...'

Airport Terminal. Rental Cars. That self-driving vehicle is waiting for us to go first. It's a courtesy van!

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'

"Look! It's the Buy-to-let brigade."

Video Shop, "His, hers, unhappy compromise."

"I'll email the landlord."