Car Rental Agent Gifts

"First of all, there was a bee in the car."

'We only need it for fifteen or twenty minutes.'

'Hi, honey, it's me. The good news is the car rental place has a vehicle we can use until our car is fixed. The bad news is. . . ah, um. . .'

"Yours was the blue Prius with the two stoners passed out in back, right?"

"Sign here, initial here, rassle Zeke for the keys and you're all set."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'What zip code are we in now?'

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

"First class, or with children?"

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

World Tour.

'Now that's an afro!'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

Sparkling Water

Airport Security.

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'Echo Tourism'

"I'd like to book 10 days going anywhere they've never heard of Brexit."

Mrs Howell packs 200 changes of clothing for a 3-hour tour.

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa