Car Renting Gifts

'You could get a bigger model, but you'd have to pay extra!'

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

House hunting is cruel.

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

"Wanna rent some videos?"

'I always thought Facebook was the perfect roommate...Until the rent came due.'

"It's a new policy, sir. . . you have to be wither under fourteen or over fifty to rent Jerry Lewis movies."

We divided it up and turned it into a rental.

The lessor of two evils.

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

"Sign here, initial here, rassle Zeke for the keys and you're all set."

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

Man in Video Shop, "Seen it, Seen it, Seen it, wouldn't want to"

'Busy day?'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

Drive Time On Air - 'Are there any drivers out there?'

Tenants and Landlords - 'Are we nearly there? ...'

Airport Terminal. Rental Cars. That self-driving vehicle is waiting for us to go first. It's a courtesy van!

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

Leonard Cohen calls his landlord

"He's moving out when he's saved up enough for a deposit on a flat."

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

Video Shop, "His, hers, unhappy compromise."

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'

"Look! It's the Buy-to-let brigade."