Car Leasing Enthusiast Gifts

'Do you also have a leasing plan for gasoline?' (at an auto leasing office).

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'I love to see you all so busy!'

"Don't feel bad, my mail server goes down sometimes, too."

"You have 24/7 roadside assistance to compensate for your new car's immediate depreciation."

'I still say it would be faster if we had a four-wheel drive.'

'If it starts, notice the roar of power.'

All you'd expect in a British car!

It was owned by a little old lady who could make a decision faster than you.

"How deep are those pockets?"

Take me to: Your leader.

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

Man with big furry mustache drives car with grill that looks like same.

'I was looking for something more passive-aggressive.'

"You're old, you're losing fluid and now you're breaking down...I better have you scrapped."

'The jacuzzi, the workshop and the wine cellar is standard, but the swimming pool, the grill patio and the media room is optional!'. (Selling an oversize SUV).

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

"To compensate for the immediate depreciation of your new car, you get a year's supply of new car smell aerosol spray."

"You'll never believe what kind of bumper-to-bumper warranty this baby has."

'He'll like this perfume. It has that new car smell.'

Car dealer's sign: If you kick the tires, you've bought it!

"Actually, I forgot to subtract the disinterest."

"For my money...any care looks good."

"You made two more bad car loans. Repo guys are cruising our parking lot."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"This model comes in all wheel drive and the popular sex drive!"

'I've got three jobs and it works great! As a diet consultant, I help people who got fat from too much pizza and as a mechanic, I repair the cars I wrecked on my pizza delivery tours.'

Oh, sorry, I just love that new car owner smell.

"Yep...Isn't she a beaut! And just one previous owner."

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment... so it kind of evens out."

"Actually, the 24/7 Roadside Assistance kinda makes up for the 24/7 vehicle depreciation."

"We breed them for aggressiveness."

'And this one has a digital readout to tell you 'how-much' the car is depreciating!'

'I find wealth impresses the Ladies. Try this, it smells of Petrol.'