Car Lease Juggler Gifts

My fortune says the auto leasing company will give me a huge bill for the scratches and dings on my leased car.

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'Wait a minute....!

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

"Beats me how I managed before getting a financial support animal."

'The salary isn't much, but the expense account to entertain the boss, ohh-la-la!'

'A belt will have to be tightened...not the cars...yours.'

'Of course I have unpaid loans, what other kind is there?'

"Sorry, but no. I can't lend you a student to help clean up your yard."

Student Debt

'And will you take this man to the cleaners....'

'Our finances remind me of a Picasso painting. He had his Rose and Blue periods. Our checkbook has its Red and Black periods.'

"So I figure, as long as I stay a student then I can't repay my student loans."

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

"Under 'salary desired', could you be more specific than 'obscene'?"

"Never mind what's in the box. That'll be discussed at the end of the month."

"He only made first four installments."

"Before we hire you, we'd like you to sign this non-compete agreement. It basically states that you won't work anywhere else for the rest of your life."

Musical Chairs...

'Tell me about yourself. If I stay awake, you've got the job.'

'Well, Gosh...! How did you know I was an incoming freshman...?'

Man robbed by medical center.

'That was Dobson on the phone... What a lucky dog! He don't need to worry about stocks and economy anymore. He just went flat broke.'

"Your financial situation was built on a house of cards. Credit cards."

Your credit score is hahahahahahahah.....

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

'Applicant wacked out, suggest immediate promotion.'

"These new regulations will fundamentally change the way we get around them."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'