Travel Agent Gifts

Winner of the Worst Slogan Contest.

"This is coach class. Let's lose the smile."

"Anywhere with ice...a lot of ice."

Airport - You are here ... Your luggage is here.

Virus Travel Agency. 'Doorknob OK?'

Airplane Seatbelts

"Thanks for spending me hours showing me all the brochures...now I think I'll go and buy my tour on the internet."

"I used to be afraid of flying, but thanks to airplanes, not anymore."

'Surely the most environment-friendly holiday is staying at home.'

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

Super sustainable travel agency

In the Nostalgia District

'I'm afraid in our global economy, it's no longer possible to get away from it all.'

"It was a terrible holiday, everything was so perfect we couldn't claim anything off our insurance."

"You have to walk around on these long hall flights to avoid thrombosis.. "

'We'd like to get away from it all, but stay within walking distance of a Starbucks.'

"It's been nice talking to you, but I should probably get back to staring blankly ahead."

'The charges are correct, sir. The airline now charges for emotional baggage as well.'

'We'd like to tour the great malls of China!'

Caribbean Airport Security

Further Cutbacks

Time in the airport is all measured against the time in New York City.

Doorknob OK?

"This doesn't look like you."

"I can get you to San Francisco through Dallas via Atlanta, but we'd have to take a kidney right here and now."

'I'd like to go to the wine lake.'

'I'm sorry, we don't have chicken or fish. However, we do have a choice of surcharges. Would you prefer fuel, technology upgrade or new labor deal?'

'Uh, yeah, you go ahead. We'll catch up with the wagon train later.'

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

"We're interested in ocean cruises. The Atlantic for me and the Pacific for him."

Airline Mergers.

"Management are fighting over the best way to resolve conflict in the workplace..."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.