Travel Agent Gifts

Winner of the Worst Slogan Contest.

"This is coach class. Let's lose the smile."

"Anywhere with ice...a lot of ice."

Airport - You are here ... Your luggage is here.

Virus Travel Agency. 'Doorknob OK?'

Airplane Seatbelts

The latest innovation in air travel: convertible jets.

"Thanks for spending me hours showing me all the brochures...now I think I'll go and buy my tour on the internet."

Incontinental Airlines: 'Okay sir, will that be a window, an aisle or a bathroom seat?'

'Surely the most environment-friendly holiday is staying at home.'

"I used to be afraid of flying, but thanks to airplanes, not anymore."

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

Super sustainable travel agency

"You have to walk around on these long hall flights to avoid thrombosis.. "

In the Nostalgia District

"It was a terrible holiday, everything was so perfect we couldn't claim anything off our insurance."

Humpty Dumpty Travel Agency.

'I'm afraid in our global economy, it's no longer possible to get away from it all.'

'The charges are correct, sir. The airline now charges for emotional baggage as well.'

'We'd like to tour the great malls of China!'

"I can get you to San Francisco through Dallas via Atlanta, but we'd have to take a kidney right here and now."

'I'd like to go to the wine lake.'

Caribbean Airport Security

Doorknob OK?

"This doesn't look like you."

"It's been nice talking to you, but I should probably get back to staring blankly ahead."

Further Cutbacks

'We'd like to get away from it all, but stay within walking distance of a Starbucks.'

Time in the airport is all measured against the time in New York City.

'I'm sorry, we don't have chicken or fish. However, we do have a choice of surcharges. Would you prefer fuel, technology upgrade or new labor deal?'

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

'Uh, yeah, you go ahead. We'll catch up with the wagon train later.'

"We're interested in ocean cruises. The Atlantic for me and the Pacific for him."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.