Renting Cars T-Shirts

"First of all, there was a bee in the car."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

House hunting is cruel.

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

The lessor of two evils.

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

"Sign here, initial here, rassle Zeke for the keys and you're all set."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

Man in Video Shop, "Seen it, Seen it, Seen it, wouldn't want to"

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

Drive Time On Air - 'Are there any drivers out there?'

Tenants and Landlords - 'Are we nearly there? ...'

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

Leonard Cohen calls his landlord

"He's moving out when he's saved up enough for a deposit on a flat."

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

"Look! It's the Buy-to-let brigade."

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'

Video Shop, "His, hers, unhappy compromise."

"For a 2 bed will need a guarantor, you don't by any chance know Jeff Bezos do you?"

"I'll email the landlord."