Remote Romantics Gifts

The Remote Olympics

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

Today's love

Busking during a pandemic

My parents had a mutual love of grass.

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

'Care to gaze on the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'Ooooh, it's Frosty! Couldn't you just melt in his arms?'

'Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calf's stepfather?'

"Heavens! I'd better rush home. my phone may be ringing."

"Can I see your license Sir?"

'I said I would agree to work remotely, but this is a bit too much.'

Cow selling milk from small roadside stand.

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

"Well of course there's a damp patch on the mattress - does it matter who sleeps on it?"

'Let me know if you want me to adjust the webcam.'

Isolating Castaways

"Anybody fancy getting drunk and photocopying our bottoms."

'Guarding the house was alright, but I left him when he wanted me to become an attack dog...'

'Inner-city kids in search of a butter life.'

You guys, if we're gonna Zoom from inside our houses, you have to move into the light.

Six feet means I love you

"The universal remote. That's how God rules the universe."

'When you care to 'zen' the very best.'

'A menage a trois That's sick'

'I called your office and I told them you were sick...They don't know who you are.'

'I just can't keep on pretending that we've been living happily ever after!'

"I hit her on the head with my club! No reaction! I hit her again! Absolutely no reaction! I don't understand "the dating game" anymore!"

"We met online, it was love at first website!"

'Who do you think you're kidding? — the AARP doesn't have secret agents!'

'Wish me luck, mother. We are off to get married.'

"I like walks in the rain, old barns, and Edna St. Vincent Millay. Does that ring any bells?"

Rural Life - '... and to think that today it is St. Medardus Day! ...'