Remote Philosopher Gifts

"The universal remote. That's how God rules the universe."

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

The Remote Olympics

The Farmer Sutra.

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

'So much effort to meet me? Man, you just should have visited my website!'

'I became a bit claustrophobic living in a warren all the time: I prefer camping out now...'

'I blog, therefore I am.'

Lost and forgotten department

Planets in solar system form a New World Order.

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

Quiet!

Caution - Poet at work

"Storm’s comin’, Clara. Better get my absentee ballot in."

William would often take long walks along the beach, seeking inspiration for his next timesheet.

"If someone says they're a leader and no one hears it, is it true?"

No crawling sign in the desert.

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

"This human experiment has gone on long enough. Give the hippos control."

"By the way, some of us have begun to feel that 'Because it's there' is not reason enough."

Thinker ponders milking stool.

"Every time you come back you're depressed and disgusted. I'd quit visiting earth, if I were you."

Library of War and Peace

"I didn't spend seventeen days climbing this bloody mountain, in all weathers, for a lecture on personal hygiene!"

Interior Monologuist

"First, I set the mood."

'We DO have a dress code up here, you know!'