Reluctant Sports Spectator Gifts

Carol simply couldn't relax knowing that at any moment five rowdy men might scream 'FUMBLE!'

"I AM at my usual position."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

The Boys of Indian Summer

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

Octopus in the bleachers.

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

Fresh hamsters on a stick.

The steeple-chase. Man reads a sign stating that no horseman is allowed to follow the racehorses over the course.

'I thought you wanted to get more involved with my sports.'

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

Winter Olympics

"... And in the blue corner, about to be soundly beaten... "

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

"Wait, all the screaming, and cheering, and swearing – you've been faking liking football the whole time?"

Good parenting.

My first rodeo

"I wish you wouldn't take your enjoyment so hard, Ed."

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

'This should be interesting.'

"The other team won by 12 lucky goals!"