Reluctant Sports Spectator Gifts

Carol simply couldn't relax knowing that at any moment five rowdy men might scream 'FUMBLE!'

"I AM at my usual position."

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

The Boys of Indian Summer

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

Octopus in the bleachers.

Fresh hamsters on a stick.

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

'I thought you wanted to get more involved with my sports.'

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

The steeple-chase. Man reads a sign stating that no horseman is allowed to follow the racehorses over the course.

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

"Wait, all the screaming, and cheering, and swearing – you've been faking liking football the whole time?"

Good parenting.

Winter Olympics

'You're pregnant?'

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

"... And in the blue corner, about to be soundly beaten... "

My first rodeo

"I wish you wouldn't take your enjoyment so hard, Ed."

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

'This should be interesting.'