Religious Texts Gifts

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

John Bunyan

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

Meet the Author

Holy Bible

"Holy moly!"

"Blessed are they who blow out birthday cakes candles, for they shall be de-lighted."

"Two for Bethlehem, I assume you want a Virgin flight."

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Joseph and the Coat of Many Colors.

Pastoring for Dummies

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Best Seller of All Times...The Holy Bible:'No fair. You're creating your own readers.'

People forget, on the 8th and 9th days I created the long weekend.

'Please hold your applause until I've read all ten.'

'I'm afraid, Reverend, that what the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.'

'You can lead a horse to water, Ezra, but you can't...?'

"Believe it or not this is the original stack of bibles that I perjured myself on."

"Not sure that's the graven image of Baal we were looking for."

"We only have the Bible."

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

"Remember now, this is for your Birthday AND for Christmas!"

"I think it means this is how they treat you 'In Rhode Island'."

Some other sins you may enjoy.

....And on the seventh day,god painted!

"I couldn't put in down boss. Hard hitting, straight to the point..sure to be a best seller."

'He's bringing glad-to-be-gay tidings.'

'I'm new here-where are all the nuns?'

'I thought the pop-ups would give it that extra punch. Whataya think?'

"If you used a smaller font they would all fit on one tablet."

"I think we'll put it out as a self-help guide."