Religious Text Comedy Gifts

'I believe each testament should have some gibberish that people think are prophesies.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"OMG, LOL!"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

St. Elmo's fired.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

United Church of OMG

'Please take your receipt!'

Sermon Applause.

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

Nativity - The sitcom

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

Pre-nuptual Nativity

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

Holy Guacamole.

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'