Religious Text Comedy Gifts

'I believe each testament should have some gibberish that people think are prophesies.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"OMG, LOL!"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Pope tarts.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

St. Elmo's fired.

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

United Church of OMG

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Sermon Applause.

'Please take your receipt!'

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

Pre-nuptual Nativity

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

Nativity - The sitcom