Religious Rule Enthusiast Gifts

"It's the appendix to the Ten Commandments: The Ten Ultimatums."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"What did Jesus order?"

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

The ecumenical dinner party.

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

Catholic-Protestant Debates. . .

Attila the Nun.

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

"Do me a favor, chief. Next time you carve something in stone have it spell checked first."

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

"You're correct, God doesn't need your tithe, but the church does."

"Wouldn't it have been easier just to tweet those?"

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

"Great news! It's a light touch regulatory framework."

At last he had found the Regulatory Guidelines.

'... And as soon as it's discovered, don't play with fire!'

'No offense, but some of these sound a little PREACHY.'

'But everybody does that stuff!'