Religious Humor Collector Gifts

Texting Monks.

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"You call this a constitution?"

Dogma

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Pope tarts.

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

Sermon Applause.

'Please take your receipt!'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Finger puppets in church.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

A woman in prayer

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'