Religious Discussion Enthusiast Gifts

Bento XVI.

'Yes, all at once!'

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

The ecumenical dinner party.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"What did Jesus order?"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

"Do me a favor, chief. Next time you carve something in stone have it spell checked first."

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

Attila the Nun.

Corruption trial in the Vatican

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

"You're correct, God doesn't need your tithe, but the church does."

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

"Great news! It's a light touch regulatory framework."

'But everybody does that stuff!'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

'No offense, but some of these sound a little PREACHY.'

If there were no religion...s

Decisions a Pope makes

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

"No, we can't have a lawyer look at them first!"

"The commandments are publishable, but they need to be shorter. I'd lose everything after 10."

'The store was out of bread, so instead I bought bagels.'