Religious Debate Aficionado Gifts

'The trouble is if you want to believe in the Da Vinci Code you've got to believe in Jesus first.'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Bigot Spigot

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Abdullah Debate

Corruption trial in the Vatican

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

If Bush Had Told Us the Truth After 9/11

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

Equal Time for All Christians

I hear you're preaching godlessness, you little heathen. I'm preaching intellectual honesty. There is no proof of a Judeo Christian almighty. You might as well believe in Zeus or the spiritual powers of a raisin scone. Where do you think morality comes from? What do you think is the basis for our civil society? The almighty! All hail the raisin scone! HOJ.

Robin Day.

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

Actual Results May Vary

Theresa May

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

"Perhaps you should focus your message less on the economy and more on little shiny things."

Basic Theology

Liberals Ignore Science Too

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

Blasphemer! Ignoramus. HOJ. Your anti-religious rants will lead to the breakdown of morality. The divine is our source of civilization and humanity. It's what separates us from lowly animals. That and our ability to turn worthless jungle into condos. You're playing dirty now, hairless one.

God is dead.

"Let's face it - if your god existed, I'd been struck dead long ago for mocking her."

"WHatever happened to mutual cooperation for the good of the country?"

Blood on their Hands

"The Bible does not say that!... And if it does, it's taken out of context!... And if it isn't, it's just a metaphor!... And if it's not, it's not a big deal!... And if it is, then that's just how things were done back then!... And if... er... shut up

"If I were your god, I'd have fact-checked this mess before publishing."