Religious Debate Aficionado Pillows

'The trouble is if you want to believe in the Da Vinci Code you've got to believe in Jesus first.'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Bigot Spigot

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Abdullah Debate

Corruption trial in the Vatican

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

Actual Results May Vary

Theresa May

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Basic Theology

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

"Perhaps you should focus your message less on the economy and more on little shiny things."

God is dead.

"Let's face it - if your god existed, I'd been struck dead long ago for mocking her."

"If I were your god, I'd have fact-checked this mess before publishing."

Founding Fathers

"The Bible does not say that!... And if it does, it's taken out of context!... And if it isn't, it's just a metaphor!... And if it's not, it's not a big deal!... And if it is, then that's just how things were done back then!... And if... er... shut up