Spiritual Debate Enthusiast Pillows

"The necessity of humans to convince others that your god exists proves that he doesn't."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Bigot Spigot

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"No offence Jon, but..."

Abdullah Debate

Corruption trial in the Vatican

'Ok Preacher, here's the deal. You back off I back off, and everyone is happy...'

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

Actual Results May Vary

Ethics committee - 'All right - who stole my gavel?'

Theresa May

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

Basic Theology

"Perhaps you should focus your message less on the economy and more on little shiny things."

God is dead.