Religion Versus Recreation Humor Gifts

Sporting rector cancels meeting so he can shoot

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

United Church of OMG

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

Three Parent Baby

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

"This is a beta test, right?"

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

'I'm not sure about these, but I'll try them out on the focus group.'

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

'Thou shalt not covet a parking space.'

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

Vicar In Spectacles

'I know it's all the rage with jazz musicians and pop singers, Twiddlecock - but choristers?'

'In compliance with Federal full-disclosure laws, I'm required to tell you that I'm really not all that sure about some of this stuff.'

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

'In conclusion, it's more blessed to give than retrieve.'

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

"Spread the gospel, not germs. Wash your hands!"

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

Moses parts the Red Sea.

'Hello, I'm your new service provider'.