Religion Versus Recreation Humor Gifts

Sporting rector cancels meeting so he can shoot

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

United Church of OMG

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

Three Parent Baby

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

"This is a beta test, right?"

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

'Thou shalt not covet a parking space.'

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

'I know it's all the rage with jazz musicians and pop singers, Twiddlecock - but choristers?'

Vicar In Spectacles

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

'I'm not sure about these, but I'll try them out on the focus group.'

'In compliance with Federal full-disclosure laws, I'm required to tell you that I'm really not all that sure about some of this stuff.'

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

'In conclusion, it's more blessed to give than retrieve.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

Moses parts the Red Sea.

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

"Spread the gospel, not germs. Wash your hands!"