Religion Rockers Gifts

"I hear we went platinum."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

The Mods and Rockers feud had got out of hand

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

"This is a beta test, right?"

The Pope looks through here to check out the crowd before he speaks. Ah --- The papal people peephole!

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

'Is it organic?'

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

'Thou shalt not covet a parking space.'

'I know it's all the rage with jazz musicians and pop singers, Twiddlecock - but choristers?'

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

'I warned you we'd get thrown out, changing the name from the Garden of Eden.'

Alcoholics drink alone... or with others!

"An apple? Doesn't he have any pizza?"

"Did we get the line item veto?"

'It's a popular misconception, but in fact, it's always been 'cod'.'

"And Adam and Eve saw that they were naked, and they were ashamed."

'Do you have any coupons?'

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

'Jesus? Jesus who?'