Relaxing At Home Gifts

"Roger and I are just sitting around, letting ourselves be targetted by advertisers."

'No Timmy, we're different from the animals. We have a purpose in life.'

'Changing the channels is not part of sharing the housework.'

'Anything good on the telly tonight? Yes dear the vase!'

'Boy, you know our lives suck when our cable goes out more than we do.'

Superman Heads Back To The Fridge

"Wouldn't one pen in your pajamas suffice?"

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"Hey! Did the ball drop yet?"

"Dinner and a movie, sure. You order a pizza and I'll see what's on cable."

'I tell you, he just sits in back of that thing all day.'

"You'll miss me when I'm gone. I'm taking the remote."

"No, this movie isn't dragging. You've got it on 'pause'."

TV Eyes.

"I'm having a wine, dine and dance night...without the dining or dancing."

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

Habits that would annoy another person, become simple pleasures when you live alone.

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'He brought along that short-wave radio just so he can listen to the commuter traffic reports from home.'

"This is what I call a home entertainment centre."

"I thought we'd stay in and finish this boxed set."

Coronavirus

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

"My weight loss program is a long living room and a broken remote."

"And you'll still have an excuse to not see our friends!"

"Has summer finished yet?"

"You may have the weight of the world on your shoulders, but that's not why you're 10 pounds heavier."

"My imagination ran wild, and I pulled a muscle in my brain."

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

Day 40 of self-isolation and time had taken on a different concept.

As the tension builds...

"Hey, I was watching that!"

"You've mellowed - I remember you turning off this programme on disgust when it was first shown in 2005."

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"